Negotiating is the process of attempting to agree on a solution. Compromising or settling on a mutually agreeable solution, is the result of successful negotiations. Compromise is all about being flexible. It means being able to generate alternative solutions when you’ve “hit a brick wall.” Whether it involves a person you can’t get along with, an idea you know will work but that others are reluctant to embrace, a change in office systems or a turf war that needs ending, learning to negotiate and compromise is essential to your success.
Develop A Winning Attitude
Your attitude is essential to the outcome you want. You improve your chance of achieving a mutually rewarding solution if you approach the negotiation as an opportunity to learn and achieve an all-win outcome.
Meet on Mutual Ground
Find a mutually agreeable and convenient physical space to meet that is comfortable for all involved. Agree on when you will meet and how much time is available to devote to the process. Whenever possible, deal with negotiations face-to-face. Be careful about negotiating over the phone or in e-mail. A lack of facial expressions, and other cues can result in a negotiation breakdown.
Clearly Define and Agree
Agree on a statement of the issue using simple and factual terms. If the situation is multifaceted, search for ways to slice the large issue into smaller chunks and deal with one issue at a time. Repeating if necessary to ensure each has the correct facts.
Do your Homework
Take time to plan. You must not only know what is at stake for yourself, but you need to know the other side’s concerns and motivation. Take into consideration any history or past situations that might affect the negotiations. Know the must-haves (non-negotiable items) and nice-to-haves (negotiable items). Determine the best resolution, a fair and reasonable compromise and a minimally acceptable deal.
Take an Honest Approach
Determine your level of trust in the other person and the process. Be conscious of aspects of your personality that can help or hinder the process. Remember everyone likes to win.
Look for Common Goals to Achieve
Get on the same side by finding and establishing similarities. Since conflict tends to magnify perceived differences and minimise similarities, look for common goals, objectives or even gripes that can illustrate that you are in this together. Focus on the future, talk about what needs to be done and tackle the problem jointly.
Deal with Facts
Address problems, not emotions or personalities. Avoid any tendency to attack the other person or to pass judgment on his or her ideas and opinions. Avoid focusing on the past or blaming the other person. Maintain a rational, goal-oriented frame of mind. This will depersonalise the conflict, separate the issues from the people involved and avoid defensiveness.
Be Honest
Don’t play games. Be honest and clear about what is important to you and communicate why your goals, issues and objectives are important to you and your business.
Wow them
Create options and alternatives that demonstrate your willingness to compromise. Consider conceding in areas that might have high value to the other person but are not that important to you. Frame options in terms of the other person’s interests and provide evidence for your point of view. Give your customer more than they expect to receive.
Be an Expert Communicator
Nothing shows determination to find a mutually satisfactory resolution to conflict more than applying excellent communication skills. Ask questions, listen, repeat and rephrase what you heard from them, to check for understanding and take a genuine interest in the other side’s concerns. Reduce any tension through humour, let others vent their concerns and acknowledge their views. Focus less on your position and more on ways in which you can move towards a resolution or compromise.
End on a Good Note
Make an all-win proposal and check to make sure that everyone involved leaves the situation feeling they have won. Shake on it and agree on the action steps: who is responsible for each step, how success will be measured and how and when the decision will be evaluated. Be open to accepting an impasse for noncritical issues; agree to disagree.
Enjoy the Process
Look at the benefits of learning other people’s point of view. People report that after overcoming conflict and reaching an agreement, the relationship grew even stronger. Reflect and learn from each negotiation you enter into.
